Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
