ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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