Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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