somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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