Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
