i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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