so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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