We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
50% drunk capacity currently
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
