This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
