walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
