I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize