What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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