once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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