ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
