Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
