I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
