O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
