That's intense
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
