discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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