dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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