I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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