Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
