Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize
