Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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