Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
