Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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