just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
