i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
