remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
