I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
