seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
