Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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