using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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