i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize