i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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