3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
