How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
