Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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