and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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