i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
