I cockslap morals
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
