In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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