You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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