I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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