What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
