IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
