her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
