Little spoons don't ask big questions
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
