ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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