I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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