I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
