I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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