Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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