Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
