just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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