So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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