if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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