she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
