Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
