I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
