Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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