She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
