no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
