ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
