When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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