I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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