All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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