i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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