I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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