nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
